Tryst with Terror

Mumbai, the commercial city of India is currently reeling under the after math of history’s worst terror attacks. The city was under siege by gun-toting murderers, well-trained terrorists loaded with arms and ammunition: grenades, pistols, AK 47. 6 with 8 to 9 magazines, explosives etc. Any country’s worst nightmare has come true.

Mumbai has suddenly captured the minds and imagination of the world. It became international news and followed up closely across countries. The world has expressed solidarity with Mumbai and we Indians, grieved along with Mumbai and partook in its moments of grief. I was engaged with my Semester-III exams, had oodles of portion to finish and yet I could not take my eyes off the dramatic footages of the News Channels: NDTV and CNN IBN. Images of people running helter and skelter, cowering and ducking behind walls for protection, lying helplessly on roads, I had seen a man crawling on the road. None of us, or at least I could reconcile myself to this brutal reality staring in my face for sometime. It looked like a Mani Shankar or Ram Gopal Verma’s action movies. It is touted to be India’s 9/11 because of the magnitude of the collateral damage it caused. In this year alone, as far as I can remember, there have been not less than 5 terrorist attacks (bomb blasts) and the country was helpless and hopeless. The smug belief that we are ‘safe’ is finally shattered. Our sense of security appears bleak and the façade is indeed broken! Malls, Parks, Markets and now Five Star Hotels and Restaurants, Residential complexes – none of it is spared! I see the terrorists attacking the Nariman house, a complex housed by Jewish ilk and I’m afraid that tomorrow, the complex that I live in, might be under attack by terrorists or any miscreants, more so because my apartment is on the main road. I couldn’t help but place myself in the situation. If it can happen in Mumbai, it can happen anywhere in India. You go to a restaurant to have dinner, a shopping mall, market and not sure if you will come back home alive.The turbulent time has declared its hegemony over us. I crouch at the thought of waking up to a morning where I have to run for my life. Being gunned by terrorists at a Railway Station is the last thing on every travellers mind. The instance actually manifested on 27 Nov, 08 at the Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus. I was there, two years ago, boarding a train to Hyderabad from Mumbai. Deserted and vacant roads are the last thing, one will find in Mumbai. The crowd was bursting at seams in the railway station. I loved that hustle bustle, typical of a railway station. Passengers, coolies, channa battani hawkers and everybody going about their business. The empty CST was staring at me stupefied from the TV footage that was playing.

I have seen terror attacks; the ruthless bomb blasts at Bangalore, Ahmedabad, Delhi (twice) and we perhaps have become immune to terror. Every other day, you get to read a bomb blast and it soon became a common phenomenon. But the one that happened in Mumbai, which caused large scale damage, had beaten the breath out of me. My anxiety stems from the fact that Mumbai is one place that is close to my heart. My dalliance with Mumbai can be harked back to Jan 2007, when I had alighted in this HUGE city for a seminar, along with my history mam and one of my close friend’s Joyce. Mumbai evokes happy and proud memories as I was representing my college from Hyderabad at Mumbai. We spent three full days and two nights there. The moment I stepped out of the railway station, the first thing that caught me was the sight of the taxis. A city that I saw till yesterday on the TV had become a reality at that moment. The tangible factor, the very infrastructure corroborates the fact that it is a metropolitan city. Wide roads, tall buildings, huge bill boards greet you. We attended the seminar at Sophia college on Bulabai Desai road and the building just opposite to the to the college fascinated me. It resembled the Empire State Building at New York. It also sometimes referred to as mini New York by few. The sprawling city of Mumbai for me is a symbol of DREAMS and FREEDOM. Joyce and I were far from being nostalgic about Hyderabad. We were so in love with the city that we did not wanted to return when the time for departure had come. I had actually asked my mam to leave us here. But jokes apart, I was smitten by the city. I’m a true Hyderabadi to the core. Having said that, when I was in Bombay, Hyderabad appeared as a small town. Though my brought up was from the main stream city, I felt like a small town girl at Mumbai. We hired taxis to travel from college to shopping and from shopping to the convent. I sat next to the driver in the front seat while mam and Joyce perched at the back seat. I was in awe of the huge buildings as almost all buildings comprised floors that ranged from 15 to 20 on an average. The amusing part was that I began to count the number of the floors, when the taxi halted in the traffic and I got a panoramic view as I was sitting in the front. The driver along with Joyce and mam were in splits. It tickles my funny bone even at this moment as I’m narrating this event. I was very naughty and mam and Joyce had a tough time in keeping pace with my energy levels. My visit to Mumbai is rife with some pleasant experiences. The people were hospitable and so were the taxi drivers. There was not even a hint of deception and an effort made to take us for a ride as we were new. My mam strictly ordered Joyce and me to not to speak in Telugu, our native language. But it was obvious that anyone could figure out that we were new by the way we were moping about places. We visited places like Dhadar, Wadi, Crawford Street, Gandhi mart, Church gate etc. However, we couldn’t cover all places as there was barely any time left and we had pre-booked our tickets. Mumbai will always remain one of my favourite places though its image is now tarnished by terrorists. They might have tarnished the image but it is not irreparable. I always wanted to visit Mumbai again as I had not seen all the places and I will surely visit Mumbai again. Despite all this chaos, confusion, fear of terror, violence and loss, my love for the place will take me to the place. Mumbai will continue to be the happening metropolis and the commercial city of India.

Thus we fall, we rise and life goes on until we are shaken by another attack and this seems like a never ending vicious cycle. We are a population of one billion and I want to see how many will the terrorists suceed in killing? Damage done to property will be repairable but the wounds and trauma of the victims will never heal; it will leave them scarred forever. My deep condolences and commiserations to the sons of the soil: Cops and NGS Commando’s who gave their lives for country’s sake and three cheers to the NGG Commando’s for their painstaking efforts that reaped success in the operations executed against the terrorists.

What men want??

“You are a man-hater”! quipped one of my friends: A, who is a guy. He made this statement after reading one of my posts: Beleaguered Buddies; where I delineated some of the things that bring a bunch of men together. I had put it men bond over “fagging, boozing, watching porn stuff, sharing mms’s, rating figures, sharing their sexual prowess etc”. The very name of the post indicates it’s about friends and of all the statements and pleasant things I wrote about, one statement that left a lasting impression is the one mentioned above. It suffused him to an extent that might smother him. If REALITY smothers you, then you inordinately need a reality check.

I had not made this inadvertent statement out of vacuum, this is a ground reality we all live with and have to acquiesce, whether we like it or not. It’s comprehensible if one acquiesces and rebels in the same breadth but what if one one only wants to rebel without acquiescing the reality. I postulated the statement NOT out of my wishful thinking but out of experience. It is implicit that most of us, working professionals spend an integral part of the day at work. Work definitely teaches us good and bitter lessons in experience.One gets to correspond with people of different cultures, mindsets, background; and there is exchange of knowledge, ideas, thoughts, opinions which are variable; and yes of course you get to study the habits of a person too; at times, it takes a single encounter and sometimes it takes a couple of encounters. For instance, you have just welcomed someone new into your team and on the same day, you go out for a break with your friend and cross paths with the newcomer who is smoking to glory along with some of his friends. There is another instance, where you as a new comer have been seeking the help of a kind senior since few months, and one day you notice him gleaming over pix of some voluptuous actresses in his mobile along with his other male colleagues. I have interacted with men at some seminars, work for the most part, apart from relatives as till my Grads I studied in all girls’ convent school and college. Thus, workplace is where I have seen, observed and made note of some of the fascinations men indulge in. Closer home, Pa doesn’t smoke and drink but yes some of my uncles do smoke and drink occasionally. Such specimens are a part of our life, we cannot dismember as it’s apparent that we do find a few, if not all in our extended families.

I’m both an orthodox and an out-going person. However, more of the former than the latter. Therefore the orthodox side of me looks upon smoking, fagging and such habits with disdain and contempt. I acknowledge that just because a guy smokes or drinks, that doesn’t make him an immoral person. But life is not built on frivolous, needless and material things; life is built on habits and thus on CHARACTER. My friend A and I got into a heated argument over this. Holding a mirror to people (men in this case) and portraying reality as it is, does not imply that I’m a man-hater. When I retorted and bludgeoned his moves by saying that I have seen nude pix of women in one of my male colleagues phone, who is a married man and how do you justify that? He went white in the face for a moment and started defending his stance by saying that I should not have seen his mobile, in the first place. What bilge is he ranting? I was twirling through his contacts for a colleagues contact number, in his mobile, before him and happened to see the wall paper. When I had said that he stated what’s wrong in pursuing such a fascination? Whether it is a fascination to get a high in bed or whether it is good, bad or ugly, it is true that men do have a good time over these fascinations. I also concede that there are a good percentage of men who do not indulge and we women will root for them but for the most part they DO and this is corroborated by men themselves and who else would know it better? Ask them.

This post is definitely not a meaningless vindication of the previous post but a vindication to open minds to reality; for people like my friend. Posts, write-ups, articles are all up there for public dissections and interpretations. But condemning reality is ridiculous! Doing is one thing and denying is another. I seethed over the appalling statement of my friend and the unfairness of it all. And for those, who might be wondering if being a feminist connotes hating men; it’s a misconception to be thrown out of the window.I’m a feminist and a feminist is someone who advocates equal rights for women, to look upon men and women as equals. Having said that, in feminism, there are radical, Marxist, liberal feminists etc. Radical feminism is hating men as my friend has panned me for; these feminists want to do away with men. I’m a liberal feminist who calls for parity among men and women.

PS: Keep your thoughts, ideas, opinions, jibes and comments coming in.