VDay : Until the Violence Stops!

VDay apparently is not only another hue of feminism but also the dead end of feminism. A survey conducted by a feminist writer depicts that girl students cannot buy the word ‘feminism’ as it implies hating men and indulging in male-bashing which is grossly ERRONEOUS. Feminism in reality connotes ‘equality of sexes’ and ‘empowerment of women’. VDay is the new entrant into the world of phenomenon that seeks to create a safe and peaceful environment for women over the world.

The concept of VDay is inspired by Eve Enslers play “Vagina Monologues” that hit the famous Broadway theatre in the late 90s to showcase violence suffered by women across the world. In India the play has already been staged twice and now it made a comeback with VDay 2009, to stop assault against women. The play is directed by Mahabano Mody Kotwal of ‘Kumars at Number 42’ fame. That’s how I know her. I first watched her in that comedy soap opera on Star World, when I was in higher secondary. It was a witty show with wry humor. Sadly, it’s not on air anymore. I wish she made a comeback with that show as well. Eve Ensler spoke to about 200 women across the world and wrote this play, that portrays violence on women in the 90s. The very title of the play has shock value and one ponders why it had been named so? Vagina comes into play in most of the experiences of a woman’s life. It could be love, sex, menstruation, birth, orgasm or simply a physical aspect of the body.

As you can see, it is a monologue and not a dialogue. A monologue is when a person speaks to oneself. The other characters in the play cannot hear the initiated character but the audience can. It is a monologue because society compels a woman to push these experiences under the carpet, stuff meant to be locked in a closet and not to be uttered aloud! As a literature student, I’m drawn and inclined to theatre because Drama is a literary genre. People often confuse Shakespeare to a writer or novelist but he is first a playwright and all his plays were written to be performed and staged. Drama is a powerful tool: a voice for change and a call to action. Every monologue in the play is associated with Vagina. I have not watched the play but as a literature enthusiast read the same. One monologue goes “my vagina was my village”, which chronicles the witnesses of women put in rape camps, in Bosnia. The play keeps adding new monologues every year with more and more women being upfront and outspoken about the violence meted out to them.

‘Progressive’, is the apt word in todays global context; with the coming of age of science and technology but unfortunately violence against women never stops. There are stray instances of a Swapna who died of acid attack recently, of Rehanna, the popstar who was beaten black and blue by her boyfriend, of a school girl molested by a bus conductor and nevertheless the Mangalore pub attack on women. They might be strangers but they are bounded by a common thread of violence. Why? Because they are the fairer sex and can be taken for granted? Its time we say enough is enough and make the elusive goal of eve emancipation a reality!

The Elusive Elections

Democracy is the best thing that can happen to any country. Liberty, equality, fraternity are the ideals synonymous with democracy; and right to freedom of speech, right to religion, right to equality, right against exploitation, cultural and educational rights and right to constitutional remedies are the basic fundamental rights of any citizen in India; and yet these rights are denied to a greater populace in India. Democracy, I must say is taken for granted in India when there are countries like Pakistan, Cuba, Russia and African countries writhing in pain to break away from totalitarian models of government.

Today, the words ‘elections’ and ‘political parties’ carry the connotations of corruption, criminalization, communalism, casteism etc. The very thought of it, puts one off. This could be one reason why the common citizen trivializes elections. I believe and say that this is one reason why you should NOT be sleeping or showing slack during elections. Its time, we citizens condemn these ills of democracy and vote for an unbiased party that believes in the well being of all, irrespective of class, caste, sex and race. Most political parties today employ tools to entice people. What I hate is the fact that parties promise TV, Cycles, Laptops and sundry to poor people. Apparently, the rural, illiterate masses in India fall in to the snare laid by these parties. Illiteracy and poverty should not become fodder for exploitation. Political parties should work for the upliftment of the down trodden communities like introducing some schemes and incentives for poor farmers, weaving and textile industries rather than making false promises of offering luxuries. A common trend noticed in the latent opposition parties is destructive criticism. Parties should engage in constructive criticism and not destructive criticism. The recent comments made about Congress by praja rajyam founder Chiranjeevi. I saw this clip on TV 9 (Telugu news channel) where he is shown donning a Muslim cap and squatting among the Muslim community only to make flay congress by saying “what did Rajasekhar Reddy, the present CM of AP, do for Muslims?” He is not only indulging in destructive criticism but also inciting that community against a party for no damn reason!I agree that he is legendary actor, a mega star but politics is definitely not his cup of tea.

India needs a great leaders, visionaries and luminaries like Obama but certainly not Actors who have no clue and cue on the dynamics of politics. What is most annoying is when a Partys propaganda is based on religion. A recent specimen of this is the indictment of Varun Gandhi on his impugned and inflammatory statements that could lead to polarization between communities. He allegedly said: "If somebody lifts a hand against Hindus, or thinks they are weak, there is nobody behind them, then I swear on the (Bhagvad) Gita that I will cut off that hand." He needs to be sent to class VI standard where every one is taught in social studies that India is a secular country. It is neither irreligious nor anti-religious and Hinduism definitely is not a state religion though majority is Hindus. Another common phenomenon that is unique in Indian politics/elections is contesting of candidates with criminal charge sheets. Political parties should not field candidates with a criminal background. LK Advani has a charge sheet against him in the criminal conspiracy of the demolition of Babri Masjid. I fail to understand as to why is he contesting elections? and this happens only in India that is very flippant about democracy. We all should stand against criminalization of politics!
There is no point showing laxity and taking a holiday on Election Day. We must do our spade work, like we do our prep and prepare for studies or work. Find out about the candidate contesting for your constituency and vote for an able leader who will lead India to success. As it is only us who can make and break a government, we must use the power invested in us to vote for change! I have my voters ID, in the course of doing my spadework and will be all set to vote in the coming elections! Will You?

Aired on NDTV and Carried Away to Hindu!

Yes, you folks read it right. This is possible right when I’m working in a different industry. Media holds power, glamour, fame, name, defame and I can go on and on. I love media as it is diverse, throws mind boggling challenges at you and offers a prodigious visibility.

I have had a rewarding exposure to media through out my education from schooling to present. At school, writing workshops is what I loved the most. I wouldn’t write as copiously as I do today but wrote a paragraph or two that appeared in Hindus "fun at school" section. In college, it was News time, Enadus English newspaper, published my short story “jack and the bean bag”. No sooner I thought nothing happened in MA, when our journalism professor took us to Hindu Press to make us relate to what we were being taught in printing, scanning, computer-to-plate, machines, 4 basic colors used in printing a newspaper and so on. I usually cannot make it to any college Programmes because of work. However, I was able to make it despite having a global video conference at office, as Hindu press is just 100 meters away from my office.

It was an uphill task to strike a balance as press event was from 4 to 5 pm IST and office event from 6 to 7 pm IST. I could have forgone the press event but thought I might never get a chance again and this was my first time. So I couldn’t resist. This global event at office is a huge affair and it was my duty to ensure a smooth execution at our site. The only saving grace was that, these two events were not clashing on my calendar and I turned it to my advantage. I was back in one hour and the office event was also a success.

I had a pre-conceived notion about Hindu before stepping into the press; an impressive notion it was. Hindu is my favorite newspaper as its vocabulary and writing styles of authors captivate me. The language is simply mind blowing. I don’t just read it but study it and pick up things. The printing press of Hindu was equally captivating. Hindu has sophisticated, state-of-the art machines imported from Taiwan and Japan. This one specific machine that prints newspapers prints a whopping 75,000 copies per hour and the one in Chennai prints 90, 000 copies per hour. One of its employees who works in the technical side took us through the various stages of printing and explained the same. Our visit was marked by larger-than-life machines and the enormous, rattling noise it produced. When we were at the major printing machine, we could barely hear what he explained. It was for the most part stimulating and exhilarating. Even the packaging is not done manually, it is segregated, counted and parceled by the machine, making it prêt and ready for the newspaper boy to pick it up and deliver it at our homes.

I stumbled upon on a chance to voice my opinion on NDTV 24*7 when it had come to Arts College, OU, seeking the youths opinion on elections. I was apprehensive when I heard the news but later forayed and participated. Uma Sudhir, NDTVs Hyderabad correspondent questioned us on our opinion on polls, voting, separate telangana issue and political parties. We ensconced ourselves on the steps inside college, where all the action took place.It was apt for the cameraman too. The next day, on March 20th 2009, the programme was aired at 8:15 am on breakfast news. I was very excited to see myself on an International News channel. I had messaged all my friends the preceding day and the next morning, there was frenzy at home. Mom, bro, papa and my maid who was sweeping the house were glued to the TV for that 15 minute programme.

It might be a microdot on our profiles but something we definitely fawn and flaunt. After all who does not like to be caught on an international news channel? These are some of my lifes most enriching and rewarding experiences.

Outside, Office Offers...

I will pay a tribute to the scholar who coined the proverb “All work and no play makes jack a dull boy”. The thought of it elicits rejuvenation. Play here especially in today’s context implies a break, refreshments and anything that de-stresses you from studies or work and is not confined to games and sports alone.

When I was in school, most of my classmates got into a scramble, to score highest ranks in EAMCET (for engineers and btechs) and IIT. It was shoved down their throat by their parents on some; some competed with each other by joining the top notch institutes that offered coaching, often in rival institutes; some were brainwashed into pursuing it, by their parents of course and some just gave into to its madness. School was a sorry state-of-affairs from bulky portion, to 6-7 subjects, to emphasis on marks rather than joys of learning and yes to accept theories without questioning and reacting to it. Life is much more fulfilling now than it was when I was in school. With each passing grade, it only got better as I gave myself a choice and chose a subject of my interest, explored and exploited it and reached where I wanted to be.

From time immemorial, while schooling, getting good marks was a life and death issue. Not anymore. I’m most chilled out during my MA exams now. I wonder how I even scored an average of 70% in graduation. I don’t recall studying something. When I gave my MA entrance exam, I haven’t prepared one bit and the day before the exam I was working; and yet scored 28th rank. My BA in English literature did help. So I was a good listener at college and followed what our lecturers taught and imparted. Now in MA, I respond profusely on lessons imparted to us. I ask my professors a hundred questions. They say they appreciate a responsive class and we all are! How am I balancing it all?BREAK, a great stress buster we often consider superfluous and overlook. At school, college, exams, lectures, TV shows, movies et al. all we need is a break and utter give-me-a-break responses. One break I should talk about is office. It offers some spice and entertainment. Read how…

The stretch outside our office is dotted with stalls and bandiwallas who sell fast food, mirchis, bajjis, chaat, paani puri, tea and coconut water. They solely exist for our office employees who come and replenish themselves by indulging their taste buds. For the sellers, it certainly is a great source of income and for us it is fun and respite from work.For me, it is a good walk too as I have to walk 30 feet to have coconut water. I binge only on chat. Earlier I used to go out frequently during an intermission. For about 6 months I had stopped eating outside as I was busy with exams and sundry. Six months is a pretty long time and a sea of change occurred. These stalls that were 100 meters away before are now placed 5 feet far from our office entry gate. I was happy to find that atleast the sellers haven’t changed. But their food items definitely did. A lady who sells some great mirchis is still there. I often used to have mirchis at her stall way back then. The other day when I ventured out after a hiatus, I asked her for one plate mirchi. She laughed at me and said it’s been six months since we have stopped selling it. It was then that I realized I haven’t been out for a long time.

A sight that makes me furious and repugnant is to find our office men smoking, from new joinees to VPs. Despite imposing a ban on cigarette smoking, people are still confounded about public domains or may be they know and yet they commit offence. Men preen while they smoke.9 out of 10 times the cops turn a blind eye to this offence. Why not? The cops themselves smoke in public places. Some men might not smoke but are very good at indulging in lechery. Some women enjoy the attention, some fools are absolutely clueless that men are flirting with them and some encourage these philanderers by going out with them. And I just loathe and abhor such men. If such a thing happens with me, I never shut up. I give them left, right and centre and question them in their shameless faces. There have been instances where I had bashed and slapped men. Not office folks hitherto but yes at bus stop, cinema hall, shopping etc.

Evil does play its insidious part. There is good and evil everywhere and I just sift the good from evil. Thus I go out, have fun, socialize and de-stress myself during a break.

Fecund, Feminine and Fabulous

Today is Holi and alas I got an off on weekday after ages I guess. I have already written two posts and aspire to finish this one too. The very title of the post indicates it’s got something to do with qualities that characterize women or about women. Apparently when will women’s concerns end? When will they stop crying for rights? How long will women need idols to look up to and set trends for them? Feminists, chauvinists, you, me and sundry seem to have a laundry list of questions such as these. These questions do not need a brainstorming answer. The answer is rather simple-women’s concerns will end when society will become an equitable one and not characterized by patriarchy, when it stops to blame women for everything and when men will look upon their spouses as their equals and share responsibilities.

This womens day, lets look at the new age woman- where does she stand today and what did she achieve? On womens day, the first few from whom I received wishes and compliments for being a woman were men. One of them was my MA classmate and another was my colleague who sent a text message saying “you make us proud”. I felt the winds of change have certainly hit men. Today if women are successful and pioneers, it’s because the credit goes to men also. They have become profusely acceptable of women and the unseen, unheard, women-barely-entered spaces women foray into. They no longer say- it is not viable for women but believe in our potential and extend their unrelenting support to us.

Women like chanda kochar (joint deputy manger and to be CEO of ICICI), Indira Nooyi (CEO of PepsiCo), Ekta Kapoor, Kiran Mazumdar and the umpteen successful women in the corporate world busted the myth of glass-ceiling. A woman VP in our organization said that it is self inflicted. Our organization believes in gender diversity and I will vouch for it, as I personally never suffered a gender bias. My acumen is definitely valued over my gender. Most of us lose opportunities by merely imagining obstacles. This mindset of women in corporate world and any other male bastion should change. However issues like unequal pay and harder work, lack of negotiating skills leave women vulnerable. Issues like these should be tackled before they could grow into problems. Both the organization and employees should mutually work at it.

One of my aunt works as a lecturer in South Africa and ostensibly there are lesser crimes against women compared to any other region in the world. Gandhi’s idea of freedom holds true to that country as women can walk on the roads at midnight sans apprehensions of being attacked, assaulted, molested and teased. I salute her husband who has no qualms about her working so far away from him. She is lucky to have a husband who respects her stance and lets her pursue a career and thus satisfy her creative urges. Today any woman who is a globe trotterer is no longer seen as an adventuress but a woman of spirit.

A smut on the achievements of women is gender cleansing. The ratio in India stands at 927 women per 1000 men. Sex determination test is a punishable offence but is still carried in some places especially rural India. More awareness has to be created and this should be averted. We must accept that rural women have different paradigms of life from urban women.

Nevertheless, the new age woman scripts her own success stories, enters into a workable marriage of her choice where there is honesty, intimacy and space to make decisions. She flaunts her assets with the same panache as she flaunts her sexuality. She wants a career for her creative outlets and for economic self sufficiency and carved an identity for herself that is no longer defined by domesticity or relationships but comes across as a person with a strong sense of self and self worth. Might I add she wins battles with masculine skills.

PS: The new woman, like me, also blogs to voice her angst, express outrage and disapproval, fulfill the need for acceptance and approval and to speak out. We seek treasure and pleasure!

Conversations and Observations in 2009

You all will more than concur with me that time is moving in the blink of an eye. Having said that, 2009 opened to a string of significant happenings and events. No sooner were we reeling under the terrorist attack, we found talibanisation of women in Bangalore. I’m afraid it might happen in Hyderabad though Hyderabad is a symbol of freedom and showcases a cosmopolitan attitude.

Jaago Re India campaign has started creating awareness in 2008 and is leaving no stone unturned to make people of India to vote and choose their leader. This phenomenon is here to stay. While Jaago Re takes pot shots at you on its site by saying “so you decided to finally wake up”, the brainchild behind the Jaago Re campaign also woke up finally to wake the country up. I believe and stand up for this noble cause because jingoistic fervour for nation is not just chanting slogans like mera bharat mahan, ye mera India, mother India, proud to be an India, occasionally twice in a year on republic day and independence day or for that matter fawning over India at the recent Oscars for slumdogMillionaire. It’s very much about being aware of your right to vote and use the power invested in you to vote for change rather than be a mute spectator.

I exercised my first vote in the recent state MLA elections. I voted for the leader I wanted to lead our constituency and that leader emerged victorious. I was satisfied and happy that my vote contributed to that leader’s victory. The same happened for Indian Idol. My brother and I voted for Saurabhee, India’s first woman idol in the last five minutes and we made her win. Of course in such reality shows you can vote innumerable times, whereas in elections, where you vote for the government of your choice, your single vote will make a world of difference; unlike reality shows it will not get diluted.

I solicit and urge each one of you to exercise your vote and make democracy work for you. Do vote for a party that is unbiased and not prejudiced to a religion but a party that is secular. I will NOT vote for a party that rides roughshod over minorities like the recent attacks against Christians in Orissa and Bangalore; and a party that stands for talibanisation of women and try to sap our autonomy and independence ; and a party that concocts religion with politics and politics with religion. Religion and politics should be sequestered.

News channels are crying hoarse as to how terrorism has not spared the cricketers and one channel puts it “there is an uncanny resemblance between the attacks in Lahore and Mumbai. When the gunmen have not spared innocent people, why will their plans exclude the cricketers is what I fail to understand. How can it be a bizarre similarity when it is crystal clear that the same gunmen shot the cricketers too.

On the other side, we have Lalit Modi, chairman of IPL who is adamant to hold IPL inspite of elections and the security issues. He is in no mood to compromise with the dates or postpone the same. Whether the IPL will kick off and how far will the dates not clash with election is one that we have to wait and watch.

As far as movies are concerned, 2009 has in store for us a bouquet of some assorted, formulaic movies. I watched some good ones like Arundathi (Telugu), slumdog millionaire, Delhi 6 and pink panther 2 hitherto.

So much has happened in a span of 3 months and we are catching up with the pace too.
I wonder what the rest of the year holds for us. Touchwood!

Back with a Bang!

The other day, I met a colleague of mine after a long time in the office restroom and asked her the ostensible question, “Hows life?” “Life is uncertain”, she quipped and I couldn’t agree more with her.

When I say “back with a bang”, I’m not only back from a 3 months hiatus from blogging,but also from a setback in my family and thus life. Each one of us loathes setbacks and tries hard to erase them out of our memory’s labyrinth. However, we forget that it is these setbacks that teach us valuable lessons and life skills. I look upon setbacks in my life as milestones: significant points of development in ones life. From an understanding and awareness of our own strengths, weaknesses and potential, to seeing a different side to us, to sifting the wheat from the chaff; as in telling fair and honest people from the black sheep (people who put on facades) and so on.

It was a lazy afternoon on Jan 2nd 2009, a day after ushering in 2009 with all pomp and splendor; Christmas and new-year hangover was still running high. I was on leave and trying to get a quick siesta at 3 pm. I was making the most of my break from college and work. My eyelid were heavy and was falling asleep but was intercepted by phone calls from office and friends. The day turned awry and continued so for about a week. My dear brother, who suddenly became dearest, met with a fatal accident, when he fell off from Hunk (bike), while returning home from college. He survived benign head injuries, broke his arm and battled for his life, for about two days at Yashoda (hospital), Secunderabad. The day he didn’t return home, the house was wearing a deafening silence. I was upset and restless. On the day of the accident, when he was being flitted in and out of CT Scans, tests and X-rays, a ventilator was manned and maneuvered in tandem. A little lapse and it could cost his life. He was lying unconscious and at that moment we yearned to see him awake. Today, 2 months down the line, he is not only alive and awake but also enthusiastic of his newfound life. We had lost and found him. He was discharged within a week and the ordeal was over as we did not throw up our hands in despair. The two sustaining human resources: faith in God and hope prevailed and brought him back.

Even now, as I pen down this post at 10:40 pm, we are waiting for him to return from his brief outing with friends. He is hale, healthy and all set to give his final year graduate exams and the three of us are back to our routine regimen.

The key takeaways are-
i)Reinforcement of the fact that family comes first and is above the other priorities of life.
Love for my brother has grown tenfold today. He is the first person for whom I have wept for two days and nights.
ii)I value and honor my parents much more than I used to before. We take our parents for granted and often holler at them. We think it is our birth right to do so. Now, I do not howl and scream anymore when I don’t get my way (I often do). I try to see sense in their counsel.
iii)The rapport and bond as a family only fortified.
iv)My faith in God is now seamless and boundary less.

I owe my gratitude to and pray for my extended families, cousins and friends who stood by us like a rock and prayed for my brother. It was indeed a great beginning to ring in the New Year!