Gender Equality- A myth or a reality??

There is a certain ambiguity in understanding gender equality in the context of today’s woman: bold, smart, independent, chic, steely grit and nerve and the list can be endless. The World boasts of many such women who breached barriers of caste, class, societal norms to carve their own identies. Identities as in those that are not confined to biological roles: a daughter, wife and a mother but those that she defined through her own potential and talent.

This ambiguity is best manifested by the media: Print and electronic; that portrays women who aced in every sphere. It presents a picture of Aishwarya Rai standing tall at Cannes Film Festival; Sunitha Williams flying high in a space shuttle; Indira Nooyi, CEO of PepsiCo, addressing a press conference; Kiran Desai, plush in the success of a Booker Prize; The gutsy Hillary Clinton in a race for the white house and a countless examples to quote. Having said that, the media is equally rife with dowry deaths, rape cases, sexual abuse/harassment, eve teasing, molestation cases, domestic violence and what not? Does all this evoke gender equality? You just never know that bad news about women exceeds good news about women and perhaps the good news about women fades into insignificance before bad news. If you recall, the media kick started the New Year with molestation cases at Mumbai where two women out of a hotel were molested: pinched, grabbed, touched, felt and squeezed; by a group of drunken men. Then there are dissenting voices of the moral police who say that women ask for it as they wear provoking clothes. What rot? A woman can be provoking in a Salwar too. Just because a girl sports a tee and jeans, she is not a bitch who asks for it. The same holds for rape. What is rape? It is illicit sexual intercourse without the consent of a woman and effected by force, duress, intimidation or deception as to the nature of the act. When a woman is raped, the rapist goes scot free; it is the victim who is traumatized. The society is not kind enough to support her; she is looked down like a piece of dirt and some perverts who say that she asked for it. What about rape in wedlock? Is it rape at all? It’s not an outsider, her own husband who she is wedded to. So where does the question of rape arise? Rape is illicit without the benefit of marriage and if within marriage it’s a breach of promise to embrace and support her in sickness and health. If Eve Teasing is still prevalent, no wonder women are still perceived as objects of desire. If men are subjects, women are objects. God is in heaven and all is right with the stinking world!

There are communities and families where a woman’s place is still confined to home and hearth and she is defined by her man. Imagine having to live in a place where you don’t have a voice. What happens when the woman raises her voice against some norm? She is torn, beaten and battered. That’s domestic violence for you! What if a woman is caught in a marriage seeped in domestic violence that renders her a mental and physical wreck? She should walk out of that marriage and lodge a complaint against the proprietors of the crime. Our government finally woke up to the ill-plight of women and passed an act on 23rd June, 2005 that declares any domestic violence against women, a crime. It’s not just a husband who is deemed but also a relative will be charged with a criminal offence.

However such Laws will be efficacious only if the victims come forward and fight for justice. Most women only suffer than prefer to come and speak out against their family. It is against Indian culture. For heavens sake, Indian culture doesn’t ask you be a silent sufferer and mute spectator to the injustice and pain inflicted on you. Judith Armstrong, a well know critic stated “Adultery is greater when committed by a woman. She’s called a fallen woman and when a man commits adultery he just STRAY’s.” I refuse to buy that bilge. There should be equal punishment meted out to both. From time immemorial society is a male dominated one. A woman’s husband was a pathi parmeshwar or God to her. Though the old veil girl has seen the light of the sun, she is definitely facing a gender bias which is a manifestation of what I had mentioned earlier. Today some old traditions have come in a new garb. We had ‘sathi-pratha’: burning of a widow on her husbands’ pyre; and today we burn the bride and allow the groom to have another.

A much relevant example is Amniocentesis where the pregnant lady undergoes this sex-determination test under the pressure of her in-laws, even though it is an offence. Its disheartening that even today a girl is frowned upon as a yoke or a burden in families and it is appalling to know that the so called ‘affluent’ who are supposedly ‘educated’ are committing this crime. Even the middle income and poor income groups think that the birth of a girl child is a deliberative digging of a big pit because they are afraid of facing challenges regarding her education, huge dowry sums, wedding etc. They all look forward to a son to carry on their lineage or family business and also because a secure future is assured. Let’s face it, even at work, women face sexual harassment. It could be an innocuous remark, an unnecessary look or something more serious. A survey depicts that 49% women have encountered sexual abuse and 53% women don’t have equal opportunities at work. They also say that women are treated unfairly by their supervisor/ co-worker/fellow student.

Even amidst working couples, it is the man who has an edge over the woman. If he is transferred to a different place, the wife‘s interest is not taken into consideration, she is expected to move with him. However it’s ok for her to compromise on little things concerning work. Every man looks for a homely woman who can keep his parents and him happy but what if that homely girl wants to work? What if she is much successful than her husband and earns more than he does? Will the husband, acquiesce and digest this fact? Will his fragile ego not get wounded? The Newspapers do publish stories on Men who accept their trophy wives with ease and are absolutely comfort with the attention they receive. That’s only a smug-belief of a ‘feel-good-factor’. A woman’s life is circumscribed by a man. God has created female and man created a woman. Simone de Beauvoir, a landmark French feminist commented “A woman is not born but made”. All of the above breaks the façade that there is gender equality. It only presents a bleak picture of today’s woman.

If this myth has to become a reality, women should be educated and empowered, social responsibility should increase and boys at home should be taught to respect women. Entrenched prejudices and customs against women should be abolished and various myths, superstitions should be debunked. If Laws have to succeed, complaints should be made more anonymous that will encourage the girl to come forward and complain while scaring the miscreants.